Why do you do what you do?

It’s important that you know your ‘why’ because your why motivates you. Your ‘why’ enables you to stand strong through tough times.  Your’ why’ is the purpose or belief that inspires you. Your ‘why’ keeps you focused. Your ‘why’ wakes you up in the morning, and pushes you out of bed to deal with the daily issues of life. Your ‘why’ forces you to see that your world is about so much more than yourself. In fact, your ‘why’ is more about other people and something much bigger than getting what you want.

Everyone has a ‘why’ but the thing is not many of us take the time to reflect on the why of what we do. Your ‘why’ must be bigger than the obstacle’ you face. Your ‘why’ must be bigger than your why not? When you know your ‘why’ how is not a problem. Your ‘why’ will keep you on the right path and provide clear direction to where you are going. Obstacles never stop a person who has the will power to push through trouble. I believe that obstacles are put in our way to see if what we want is really worth fighting for. If you want to fly, you have to give up the things that weigh you down. Without rain nothing grows and the people who know their ‘why’ learn to embrace the storms in their life. Mark Twain said that “the two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” Finding out ‘why’ is vital to your growth and understanding as a human being. People lose their way when they lose their ‘why.’ Your ‘why’ will keep you from repeating past mistakes and save you a lot of time and trouble.

I am reminded of a story that illustrates how easy it is to fall into habits that are unnecessary and meaningless. A young woman was preparing a holiday ham to go into the oven. Her new husband watched as she cut both ends off of the ham before putting it into the pan. This struck him as odd, so he asked, “Why do you cut off the ends of the ham?” She paused for a moment and then replied, “I’m not sure. That’s just how my mom always did it.” They immediately called the young woman’s mother to find out why she cuts the ends off of her ham before putting it into the oven. The mother, too, paused and then replied, “I’m not really sure. That’s what my mother always did so that’s how I’ve always done it.” The young woman then called her grandmother to get to the bottom of this mystery. As she shared the reason for her call with her grandmother, her grandmother burst into laughter. After she had finished laughing, the young woman asked what was so funny. “Oh my dear,” the grandmother said still chuckling, “the reason I cut the ends off of my hams was that my pan was too short and I couldn’t fit it in otherwise.”

The lesson we should take from this story is that we should always know ‘why’ we do everything we do. If we don’t know why we are doing something, we are susceptible to blindly falling into the trap of doing something only because it’s the way it has always been done. It easy to tell someone what we do and how we do it but it’s another thing to be able to explain why you do it. Your destiny is shaped not only by what you do, but why you do it. Know your ‘why’ and it could change the course of your life forever.

In what area of your life have you contemplated giving up lately?  It happens to all of us at one time or another but I want to encourage you to hang in there.  The temptation to give up is one of the strongest temptations you will ever face.  You might think that the best thing for you to do is to stop working on what you dream about and do something different – something a little easier. Try digging your heels in right where you are.  Change your expectations about how quickly things must happen and learn the lesson that’s right in front of you in your frustration.  Ten years from now, what will you wish you had done in this season of your life?  Will you wish you had stuck with it?

Perseverance is not usually fun, but it works. Starting over is sometimes a necessity for there is no need to continue down a path going nowhere.  In such cases, it’s best to turn back and find a new path.  However, when starting over is not a necessity then it is only a setback and often you will discover that the new thing you pursue only presents a new set of challenges. These challenges are probably no different from the ones you currently face. Don’t give up what you want most for what you want now.   The reason why people give up is because they focus on how far they have to go instead of how far they’ve come. You have worked hard to get where you are now. Don’t overlook that. You have a dream and you must be willing to work hard for it. The test you are enduring right now will ultimately become your testimony.

If you give up it means you never wanted it. Unless you are dead you have absolutely no good reason to say you cannot succeed. No excuses. You are alive and you must find a way to accomplish your dream. Giving up is not an option. We all learn and teach each other. We all become better at things by trying. Be an inspiration for others and refuse to give up. Who knows what someone else can achieve by listening to your story about how tough it was for you and how you were about to quit but you never gave up and succeeded! Learn from the best. If your goal is to be successful be around successful people you can learn from and then make it happen for yourself. Next, motivate others to push themselves and do the same. The most successful people are also often the ones who have experienced the most failure. Crucial inventions in our world were accomplished by people who kept on trying even when it seemed like there was no hope at all.

A winner is a dreamer who never gave up. Giving up is the best way to show the people who told you that “you can’t” that they were right all along. Let them see you struggle but never let them see you give up! Success is built on persistence not luck. Anyone can give up – that’s easy, but to hold steady when you are pushed to the limits is tenacity.   Often when you feel that you are about to give up you are the closest to making a huge breakthrough. At any point in time, you’re always just on the verge of success. When you feel like you can’t go any further, the same strength that brought you this far will take you the rest of the way.

If you are tired of starting over, stop giving up. You only have three choices in life: give up, give in or give it all you’ve got. Make a decision not to give up until you reach your goal. In this life you don’t always get what you want. You get what you work for. Just go for it.    If you don’t go for what you want you will never have it!

What are you committed to? Commitment is what we are willing to give 100% to achieve, while putting aside personal gain and recognition. Being committed is a willingness to do whatever it takes to fulfill and follow through on a responsibility. It may not even be something we enjoy, but none the less, being committed means that you are going to do it regardless. A primary key to knowing whether or not you are committed to something is if you are willing to sacrifice what you want in order to keep your commitment.   Commitment also involves loyalty.  Do you stand by your commitment even though it will cause interruptions in another area of your life? If you are willing to show loyalty even when it costs you something that is proof that you are truly committed to that person, place or thing.

The most important thing about being a committed person is not about the recognition you receive but the courage and discipline you display.  Leaders show a remarkable amount of commitment. If a leader is not committed to the success of their goal, others will lack the initiative to be fully committed and the desired results will never be achieved. Commitment is the marker that separates success from failure. The level of commitment you have is the difference between good and great. When confronted with a challenge, a committed person will always search for a solution but the uncommitted person will always search for a way out.  Commitment is what drives us forward. Commitment is what gets us out of bed each day and what keeps us awake with excitement at night.

Determination and commitment go hand in hand.  There will be inevitable set-backs along the way to achieving success, and without the determination to overcome these road blocks, your commitment will begin to waver.  A committed person will face obstacles with resiliency and fortitude.  A committed person will accept the challenges that will surely come and take the necessary steps to work past any barrier.  Instead of viewing change and unexpected outcomes as problems, a committed person will view them as opportunities . Committed people are invigorated and energized by the chance to rise to the occasion. Being committed means you accept and perceive challenges as part of the journey toward the larger accomplishment that you are committed to. Committed people work hard even what it is hard to work. It’s hard to beat a person who never gives up!

Being a committed person will also simplify your life because you will know what to focus on and what to let go. Though, at the same time, there may be a cost for the utter dedication it takes to be committed. It takes courage to stay focused on what you are committed to. You will encounter people who will not understand your commitment. With this in mind, it will be important to hold steady and keep your goal in the fore-front of your mind. Sometimes you just might have to commit to a dream that no one else can see but you. Work hard in silence and let success make the noise. Don’t confuse your path with your destination. The path to your success may be a difficult one but everything you go through will prepare you for the success you dreamed about.

How often have you said, “I just want to be happy”? Everyone wants to be happy but how well do you know exactly what it is that would make you happy?  Would a bigger house, a new car or a new job make you happy? Many people would define happiness as having more of something that brings them pleasure, but what about the people you see who have very little but seem to enjoy every day life just where they are despite what they lack in material things? Happiness is a choice. Happiness is being content no matter what your circumstances might be. Happiness is having what you want and wanting what you do have. Having a lot of something won’t necessarily make you happy. One important key to happiness is to enjoy what you do have. Being frustrated about what you wish you had is pointless because it robs you of enjoying the present.

Happiness is an inside job and it begins with loving yourself. If I were to ask you to name all the things that you love, would you even think to include your own name? These are many things that are important in this life but nothing is more significant than loving yourself.  Everything else really falls in line behind this. Loving yourself means that you recognize that other people have opinions, anger, resentment, jealousy, fear and none of these feelings they have are about you even if they are directed at you. Loving yourself means being able to say no when someone else wants you to say yes. Loving yourself means not giving up before you get started because someone else said that you won’t be able to make it. Loving yourself means you might have to let go of some things (people, places and things) and embrace other things that you once thought were not important.   Most of all loving yourself means living in a state of forgiveness – which includes forgiving yourself.

Love yourself enough to make the changes in your life that will bring you true happiness. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to live a life you are excited about. Embrace and accept yourself including all of your imperfections. Stop hating yourself for everythings that you aren’t and start loving yourself for everything that you are. Work on loving the person in the mirror who has been through so much and is still standing. You have made it this far because there is so much more for you to do. You are special. You are unique. You have been courageous when fear tried to stop you. You have been honest when it would have been easier to lie. You have been compassionate when others were not. You have been real in a world filled with so many artificial things. You will never know how many people you have already inspired.  Love yourself and then you will have the blue print for loving others.

Learn to F. L.Y. – First Love Yourself

If you were given the chance for a do-over, what would you do differently the second time around? We all have things that we have either done or said that we regret. Choices that we have made that we wish we could do differently if given the chance. Some might be really small, others would alter the life you now live but there would diffinitely be something that we would like to do over. No one is completely satisfied with everything that has happened in their life. We all have made decisions against what our inner voice was saying to us. How fortunate would we be to have an opportunity to set some things right; heal wounded relationships or make a different choice.

It’s not possible to go back and change the past but it is never too late to right a wrong . It is never too late to pursue a dream or act on the passion that you are carrying in your heart. It’s never to late to say I’m sorry or I love you.   All of these are possible right now. The present is never too late. Right now is your opportunity to change tomorrow before it becomes yesterday. Take control over the things in your life that you do have control over. Life doesn’t get better by chance. Life gets better by change.  Every day you wake up with the opportunity to renew, refresh and reset. If you think that there is no use to start over then think of a reason to begin again and create something new. Never be afraid of something falling apart because it is an opportunity to build something better.

Make the rest of your life the best life you can. If you do what you have always done, you will get what you always got. If you want things in your life to change, you will need to change some things in your life. Whenever you find yourself doubting how far you can go just remember how far you have come and everything you have already faced. Life has already pushed you over but you pushed back and survived. Just when the caterpillar thought life was over, he became a butterfly.  If your only focus is on results, you will never see what changes you need to make. However, if you focus on change, you will get the desired results.

Make today is the beginning of whatever you dream about. Sometimes life is about risking everything for a dream no one can see but you. Strength doesn’t come from what you ca do. Strength comes from overcoming the things you have been through. Remember, the end of one day is the beginning of a new day.   There are so many people who will tell you that you can’t, but when that happens say to them ‘watch me.’ Your belief in yourself must be greater than everyone’s disbelief in you. Your life is your story. You are the only author. Your story has a beginning and an end and what happens in between is entirely up to you. It’s never too late to do what you have always wanted to do. Never give up; just start over. Starting over carries with it more knowledge, strength and power. Just because the past didn’t turn out like you wanted it to doesn’t mean your future can’t be better than you ever imagined.

Disappointment is an emotion that we experience after having high expectations that something would work out a certain way, but unfortunately things didn’t turn out as expected. Unfilled promises and expectations are difficult to deal with for all of us because disappointment carries with it negative thoughts. In fact, you might even catch yourself saying:

• I’m just not good enough
• Nothing ever works out
• This always happens to me
• When it rains it pours

However, this is never helpful and these thoughts will keep you from seeing disappointment for what it really is. Disappointments should help you to take a good look at your expectations and find another course of action that will result in the successful attainment of your goals. Disappointment is also an eye opener to new possibilities and perspectives. Disappointment is to be a place of empowerment and will put you in a better position to think more clearly and intelligently about what exactly you need to do next. As a result you can move forward with renewed confidence that you can make the most of any situation no matter what happens.

The secret to dealing with disappointment is to not let it grow into stronger emotions like discouragement and depression. Disappointments are not meant to keep you down but to help you grow. Turn the negative thoughts of disappointment into a positive emotion like determination. Disappointment won’t kill you; it will make you stronger. Disappointment is just a learning process for the things you will do in the future. Disappointments can turn out to be blessings in disguise.

Disappointments are hard and frustrating but always think positive by thinking that something better will happen than what you had planned. Positive thinking will allow you to do everything better than negative thinking will. Be patient. Good things are worth the wait. Any person who has had even the smallest degree of success in life has faced some disappointments. Winners just don’t quit. Winners learn from their failures and disappointments and go on to achieve their goals.

Train your mind to see the good in every situation. Do not allow disappointment to lower your self-confidence. Learn how to deal with your disappointments effectively so that you will be able to move on to bigger and better things. You can become your own biggest motivator! Never underestimate the power of encouraging yourself by saying, “I can do this. I can make it. I will get through this!” The question isn’t ‘what if I try and fail but can I afford not to try’?

There are many things that we need to live a fulfilled and successful life and one of those things is wisdom. We all know that education is necessary to earn a living but knowledge is just the beginning. We live in the information age where you can get any kind of information on anything at the click of a button. The problem is not how to access information but how to use the information we have access to.  Knowledge will get you far but knowledge is not enough to meet life’s problems. We need wisdom because wisdom enables you to see the big picture and arrive at a solution of your problem. Once wisdom is attained everything else becomes attainable. As we go about acquiring material things that we can really do without, wisdom is something to be acquired no matter what the cost.

The Bible emphasizes that one of the greatest qualities we can possess is wisdom.  Proverbs 3:13, 17-18: “Happy is the man who finds wisdom. … Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her, and happy are all who retain her.” Wisdom helps us to understand the difference between what is right and wrong in God’s sight. Wisdom makes a man think before he acts. Acquiring and exercising wisdom will lead to happiness and longevity of life. The foolish things we do in life are the result of a lack of wisdom. Wisdom will produce a way out of any problem. Effective choices and decisions are determined by the amount of wisdom we possess. It takes wisdom to know that you need wisdom because wisdom never comes to those who believe they have nothing left to learn.

Listed below are words of wisdom that will help you on your life’s journey:

Every test in your life will make you bitter or better. The choice is up to you.

Don’t think too hard about the past or the future for you will miss the moment right in front of you.

Patience with family is love. Patience with others is respect. Patience with yourself is confidence.

Faith is the ability to not panic.

Persistence is a characteristic of a winner.

Be thankful for each new challenge you face because it will force you to change what isn’t working for you.

Look around you and you will see that another person’s hardship will make yours look like a minor inconvenience.

Expect obstacles and meet them head on. Don’t give up or back up. Your success is on the other side.

The test of a good coach is that when they leave others will carry on successfully.

A good exercise for your heart is to bend down and help someone else up.

People want to be heard and respected. Give it to them. You want the same.

“Keeping up with the Joneses” is an expression that is commonly used to describe the attitude of always wanting to keep up with the neighbors in terms of possessions and wanting to have the things that our neighbors have. Envy is another word that can be used to describe this attitude.  Envy involves jealousy, resentment and a strong desire for something someone else has, usually at whatever the cost. One reason why envy is such a problem is that if you are envious of another person’s success, that means you will never be satisfied with anything you ever achieve.   Another reason why envy is a problem is because it means you have no clue what you want for your own life. Just because the Joneses have it does not mean you should have it too. Envy and jealousy are habits you must always be weary of and stay clear of.  Like other bad habits envy will only rob you of your energy, creativity, drive and zest for life.

It’s important that you have a clear vision for your own life, and then and only then, what another person achieves or acquires won’t matter to you. You are completely satisfied because you know exactly who you are, why you are here, where you need to go and what you need to do to get there. Having your own goals will enable you to avoid the trap of spending your time on thinking about what others are doing. Instead you will be focused on what you need to do to become a better person and be happy in the process. Your success depends entirely on you and the work you put in. Do not judge yourself based on what others have achieved, but rather base your success on what you want to achieve. Success is not about wishing you were someone else or having what someone else has. To the contrary, success is achieving your goals without compromising your integrity and then helping someone else do the same.

Focusing on yourself is a winning mindset. If you are to succeed in life and become the person you are meant to be, then you must know that your success is not for you alone. You must help others to succeed and to become great if you are to be great yourself. It is often said that the greatest people are always those that help others. Your journey in life has molded you for the greater good. It has taken each and every situation you have gone through to make you who you are today. You are not unimportant nor are you insignificant. You are unique. Never stop being you. The gifts and talents within you can only be brought to the table by you. There are people who have been predestined to be influenced by the person you are. Don’t deny them the experience of sharing life with you and have the opportunity to glean the wisdom you possess about being successful.

Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken. Find out who you are and then do you with a purpose.

It’s important not to look too much into the past or keep your mind there for too long because you can easily get trapped there.  For example, if you’ve experienced something physically or emotionally painful, your mind may keep recycling those memories thus keeping you in a continuous cycle of the same stress you previously endured. Therefore, it is important that you learn how to separate the past from the present so that you can live a healthy and productive life. However, there are reasons when looking back on the past is beneficial to your future growth.

One reason to look back is to see how far you have come. Sometimes, you might be hard on yourself and get discouraged in life. Reflecting on the past will help you to focus on the progress you have made and the things you have overcome. It will put the present in the right perspective and point you in the direction you need to go. Even if there’s still a long, rough road ahead, looking back on your progress can help you gain the encouragement and motivation you need to get to the finish line.

Reflection on life helps keep your mind open and can even help you to refrain from judging others.  For example, if someone is in an unfortunate position in life, it’s always important to remember that maybe at one time in your own life you were in an unfortunate spot as well.  You may even have been given the third degree by someone and judged on the spot but looking back on certain memories will help you to have empathy for others. Having empathy for others instead of criticism will enable you to help someone who is still dealing with an issue that you have already overcome.

Life is a long and complex journey, and it’s easy to get sidetracked.  If you have been on your journey a long time, you may even forget why you’re still going.  Now is a good time to remind yourself why you decided to take the path you are on and become reinvigorated with the same energy of intention that you had when you started out. Looking back will force you to not only see the positive but the negative events in your life.  However, you can actually use the dark times to create the brightest light.  Ask yourself why the dark times happened and if there is a lesson you can take from your struggle. Make a decision to move forward even stronger. In fact, the secret of many successful people is their ability not only to have made a decision to never quit, but they dig down deep and begin again with more tenacity than ever.

When you travel though life there are always those times when decisions just have to be made and the choices are hard and solutions are scarce. There are some situations where all you can do is simply let go and move on. There could be adventures you never imagined just waiting around the next bend. So keep putting one foot in front of the other and taking life day by day. There’s a brighter tomorrow that is just down the road. Look back but don’t stay there.

Watch your thoughts for they become words.

Watch your words for they become actions.

Watch your actions for they become habits.

Watch your habits for they become character.

Watch your character for it becomes your destiny.

Have you ever heard the statements, “you are what you think.” Or, “if you think you can’t, then you can’t!” Statements like these reflect how powerful our thoughts are. The things we think about impact our lives in a significant way. We express our thoughts in words which in turn influences our actions and what we do will soon become a personal habit. Our habits become so much a part of us that they become our identifiers. It is your habits that your family and friends will use when describing you to another person because that is what distinguishes you from another individual. In reality your character is what other people know about you. The things you do, both good and bad, are the markers that will follow you all the days of your life – thus becoming your destiny. The bottom line is a man’s thoughts determines the character of his life and become the foundation of who he is.

Your thoughts are significantly important for they will create either a positive or negative reference for the choices that you make each day. You build your life thought-by-thought and deed-by-deed. It is through a lifetime of thoughts and deeds that you form yourself and determine the impact your life will have on others. These thoughts and deeds are, in reality, choices that you make about what you will say or the way you will act. As a result, it’s not something that happens to you, but rather how you choose to think and what you choose to do that determines the type of person you’ll be and the level of happiness you’ll ultimately achieve. If you choose your thoughts and deeds wisely, you are destined to live a happy and rewarding life.

Schools teach math, English, science and history, but very little about the fundamentals of good thinking. Parents urge children to make good grades and to do their best, but typically they provide little instruction to a child concerning how to think through a choice they are about to make. Friends, who are often as untrained in making good choices themselves, become a source of advice for many of us. But, until we personally take the initiative to become better thinkers, we are more likely to make snap judgments and head off in some direction with no real thought as to how our decisions might impact our life.

All that we are is the result of what we have thought. Today is a good time to stop and assess the nature and quality of what we spend our time thinking about. If we take seriously the belief that our thoughts are the true index to our character, it is imperative that we take control over our thoughts and take responsibility for changing any and all thoughts that are not good or positive. You are not known merely by your words for talk is superficial. Words are often used to conceal or to misrepresent. You are known and judged by the content of your character. The essence of human character is found in the heart and it is the condition of the heart that provides the evidence of the true man.